We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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