the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
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my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
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There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize