I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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