Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
you never un-have a 4some
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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