What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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