I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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