I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
