Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
