i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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