Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
