Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
