so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
