...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
