Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize