it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
