so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My vagina is very pro this idea
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
