Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
