He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
