Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
