Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
