Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
our cab driver is having phone sex.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
