ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
