You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize