I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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