Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
