hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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