why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
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I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
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you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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