Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
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I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
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When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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