WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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