before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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