i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Enjoy the penises
Floor bacon is actually really good
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
