If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
be right there i have to get my cape
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
