dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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