just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
