This girl is more easily done than said...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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