Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
