Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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