They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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