I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
