I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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