Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
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Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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