In the future we'll all be gay
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
this just has baby written all over it
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
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I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
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Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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