That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
