we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Blood and glitter go together right?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
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