i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
