You smell like stripper and shame
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
