return my video game
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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