One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
