lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
