I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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