Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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