just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
