I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
