My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I have post one night stand depression
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
