I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
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I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize