At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
