Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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