I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
