its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
