I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
