i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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