Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
my poor anus
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
