Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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